Original Script by Bill Waddell and Nick Gustafson

Based on Gore High Created by Bill Waddell

Scene #1: (Burlington City Morgue. Nick lies underneath a blanket in examination room) ATTENDANT #1 Hey, you here about this stiff. Goo-stuf-es-on hun? He got a B+ in OAC World Issues. Then he went f**king nuts! ATTENDANT #2: Yeah. Then they shipped him off to the mental home. Where he stayed until the Mike Harris-privatized Ontario Hydro caused the power outage and he escaped. Ha Ha!! What a loser. ATTENDANT #1: You know that will never happen again! (laughs as lights once again begin to flicker) ATTENDANT #2: What the f**k!? (screams) (lights resume normal operation and the music begins as the camera reveals that Nick Gustafson is gone.....) (credits) Scene #2: (3096 Bentworth Drive. Former home of Bill Waddell. A mysterious stranger with over-sized glasses and a dark overcoat approaches, and rings the doorbell. The slight protrusion of a metre stick is visible behind his back.) ARCHY WADDELL Aye.. Aye..Aye'll get it. Hold on. HELGA Hold on Archy hold on.. ARCHY Aye, it might be Bill, come back at last. (opens door) ARCHY Aye, Bill. Ach, is that you? HELGA Aye is that Bill Archy? NICK ..aye.. yes it is .. (chuckle) Bill. Hullo Dad. ARCHY You're grounded Bill, yuir in bed for 9:30 tonight ye bastard. NICK It's good to be home, Archy. Listen.. do you know where I've been staying lately? ARCHY Aye, Bill. Aye've been crank-calling yuir mom for years now trying to find you. Aye always hang-up when ever some picks up the phone. Aye've had my friends at that the bank holding that dollar in yuir account but you've never gotten it out. Aye almost spent it once or twice. NICK So you don't know where Bill Waddell is living? ARCHY Eh, no, aye... NICK Well, even though he'll probably thank me for this.. (Nick whips out his metre stick and proceeds to hack Archy and Helga, as Rod Stewart continues to play in the background..) ARCHY Eh, pardon..eh, pardon.. eh.. pardon, aye, ach ..... NICK I will find you Bill...

Scene #3: (The Supercentre Mall in Burlington, or more precisely, Bill Waddell's former place of occupation, Harvies. Nick enters with his oversized glasses but lacking his overcoat. The dining area is packed) CASHIER Yes, how can we help you sir. Hey, you look awfully familiar. Don't I -- NICK No. I'll have a junior burger. JUST ketchup, please. I hate onions. CASHIER Will there be anything further? NICK No. (fifteen minutes pass and Nick is still waiting for his junior burger. Some high school kids who were behind him in the line are already enjoying their Swiss Chalet chicken. Finally, another employee arrives to fill his order.) Just Ketchup please. (the employee ignores him and proceeds to pile lettuce, pickles, mayonaise, mustard, ketchup, and finally two heeping spoonfuls of onions.) (hysterical) NO ONIONS DAMN YOU! I SAID NO F**KING ONIONS!! EMPLOYEE Whoaaaa. Pipe down... geek. You expect good service, pay good money. (Nick proceeds to freak out in the manner of his fatal B+ in OAC geography. He whips out the metre stick and proceeds to slaughter the occupants of Harvies) NICK Where is Bill Waddell! I hate onions! Where is he!? Where! Why! Where! AHHHH--!! CUSTOMER Hey geek-- aren't you Bill's friend? NICK I used to be... (flashback) (by a lake in Sauble Beach Ontario) (Nick is calmly observing the aquatic life, when he is struck by a handful of wet sand) NICK Bill was that you? And Mike? And Craig? What are you doing over there with all that wet sand? That's dangerous you know. You could get sand in someone's eyes. (Craig and Mike laugh) BILL Oh, sorry Nick. It was all an accident. We were only throwing this wet and deadly (laughs) sand in your general direction. Never at you. Come back in closer to the shore, we won't hit you again. NICK Alright... (Nick is subsequently bombarded with barrages of wet sand. He cries in pain, when a particularily large one impacts in his face) My eyes! My eyes!! (Nick returns to the present in a desolated Harvies. Everyone is dead) (Nick wipes a tear from his eye) (Nick enters the empty office at Harvies, where he soon discovers a file on Bill containing every pertinent bit of information about him and a computer close by. Nick smiles) NICK I'll make Bill come to me. Ha Ha! (laughs) Scene #4: (Bill drives to his Lakeshore apartment in his expensive sportscar, that was a result of the money Bill made selling all of Nick's comics to Todd MacFarlene) (Bill takes his private elevator to his floor, but soon discovers an eviction notice taped to his apartment door written on Sunny Hills Mental Home stationary) BILL Who the fuck could be responsible for this? (Bill is subsequently kicked out of the building and loses his car. Bill was left with $5 to his name) (Bill boards a Burlington bus, to return to Courtland to find his cat Tigger) Scene #5: (At Bill's mother's home. Bill moves to knock on the door. But instead finds another taped note) BILL Oh damn. Not again. (relieved) "I'm out getting groceries. I'll be back soon. Oh yes, that nice fellow Nick was around looking for you." (signed) "Bill's Mom." TIGGER Meow! (Bill is led into a false-sense of security by the sound of his pet cat. He opens the door and only narrowly avoids being impaled by a jagged metre stick. Nick has Tigger's fragile neck in his hand.) BILL Hey Avogadro, what the hell are you doing with my cat? NICK (laughs) Tigger will die Bill. Just like Archy killed Sparky. I'll make you feel pain before I finally kill you. (Nick holds the cat firmly and jumps out the adjacent window. Just then Tigger bites Nick and gives him a scar running down the side of his face. Nick screams) Ahhhhhh!, You f**king stupid cat!! (Bill regards the ground below. Save for some shards of broken glass and a few shreds of ripped clothing. Nothing remained of Nick or Tigger.) Scene #6: (Lester B. Pearson High School. Assembled are the survivors of the 1997 OAC World Issues Course) CHRISTINE So Bill, just what was so important that you had to drag us all back here? I don't like this place. MATT Yeah, I haven't been back here since that last day of high school, and I never wanted to come back. ADAM You mean after what we did no Sputni-- I mean Nick. MATT Shuttup!! We did what we had to. That pompus jerk deserved what he got. It's not like its our fault that he just snapped eight years ago. It's not our fault that they locked him away. CHRISTINE And we certainly didn't privatize the mental home workers that beat the crap out of him. BILL No. We are not responsible at all. But Nick is alive and on the loose. We've got to stop him, and kill him!! ADAM But where is he? CHRISTINE How can we ever find him? BILL I have a feeling I know.

Scene #7: (The factory) (Nick is setting up streamers with his party hat on while Rod Stewart is playing in the background) (Nick is also singing along to the lyrics) NICK Hey Tigger, when do you think Bill will arrive.
(Tigger hisses at Nick) NICK Well little Kitty, it's time to see whether you really do have nine lives, I'm setting up this timer and when it reaches zero. Well you can fill in the rest. (Nick walks away hysterically laughing) Scene #8: (Nick driving to the school) (Nick moving vehicle down desk with a lego building) NICK I'm going to the school
I will hit that rodent
Look a hitchhiker, I'll hit him too (close up on hitchhiker screaming) Ah, finally. It's great to be back in business again. Scene #9: (In the classroom) (Bill has an alarmed look on his face) BILL Did anyone else hear anything ADAM Yeah it must be that guy, Nick (Nick bursts into the room doing his hum) ADAM AND BILL Hey Nick where's the Coke? (Nick impales Matt with the metre stick, and then puts on his favourite song) (everyone else scrambles out of the room, Bill just narrowly misses being stabbed) (Nick follows them through the deserted high school) Scene #10: (In the caf) (Adam is slowly moving through the room, hoping to reach the door) (Suddenly, he hears a rattling above him) NICK Hey, Hutch. Remember to clean your plate, or no desert for you!! (dozens of trays, plates, knives and forks rain down on Adam, impaling him unnumbered times) ADAM YARGHHHHH---!!! Scene #11: (The tech hall) (Christine is walking down the hall, yelling out for Bill. She nearly trips on a fresh corpses of numerous students.) CHRISTINE Hey, Bill. This isn't funny. Quit it, huh? CHRISTINE You aren't scaring me Bill. Just because there really is a homicidial psychopath wandering around, doesn't mean you can trick me!! NICK You're right, good job. You deserve a B+, even if I DIDN'T!!! CHRISTINE We didn't mean for you to get that mark, just because we made Bill annoy-- oops!! NICK WHAAAAT?! It's all YOUR fault!! That my run of straight As ended!! And I was just going to kill you because you were in my class!!
(Nick chases Christine back into the Caf kitchen area) (Christine smashes Nick over the head with the ketchup bottle and he falls down the caf steps. Christine runs for cover behind the serving area.) (She tries to remain calm, but is shocked by a sticky red dripping onto her forehead. She looks up to find the remains of Adam processed through the frozen yogurt processor) CHRISTINE Ahhh!! Adam's bloody remains in the yogurt maker!!! At least we know what tomorrow's caf special will be. NICK I never eat the caf food. It's bad for your health. (Nick yanks Christine's hair and plunges her head into the deep fryer) CHRISTINE Ahh!! My head's been stuck in the deep fryer!! Blaughhhhh -----!!!

Scene #12: (Bill has made his way to the office of Mr. Hentersun) BILL Well, I should probably look for something I can use against Nick, but while I'm here I'm going to steal the answers to this week's test on Brave New World. After all, I've got to get out of high school soon, my gas station job is no longer fulfilling.... (Bill sees a figure approaching the door. Bill prepares to strike, when the figure is revealed by his flashlight to be junior by-law enforcer Craig Webster, and his partner Justin Turbitt.) CRAIG Hey, Hey, Hey Bill, what the hell are you doing here? You're trespassing. BILL Listen man, there's this psychopath here. You remember Nick Gustafson, we tormented him back at Sauble Beach and at school. CRAIG Well, that's no excuse. Book him Justin. BILL You can't do this. He'll kill again if I don't stop him. JUSTIN Shut the hell up Waddell. We know that you were also responsible for the death of Archy Waddell earlier today. We have a signed affidavit from one P. McCracken saying you intended to kill him. (Justin and Craig proceed to drag Bill down the hall) BILL Fine. Have it your way. If Nick kills again, it's not my fault.

Scene #13: ( Bill has been locked away in a containment cell awaiting his preliminary hearing on murder charges relating to the deaths of Archy, Helga, Christine, Adam, Matt, the hitchhiker and a small rodent.) CRAIG Okay, Bill you're free to go. BILL What? How's that? CRAIG There's no room. We have the choice of keeping a jaywalker or you. I stand by my decision. Bless Mike Harris for making our streets safer. (Bill beats up officer Craig, steals his gun and walks out of the room.) G Hey Bill, you want a ride man? (Bill is disgusted by the smell of G's van, so he accepts) Scene #14: (Bill is travelling in G's van) G So you're still after him, right man? BILL Huh? G Mr. Stubbs. BILL How'd you know? G I saw your agenda on the blackboard. It said you'd be here at 10:00. BILL Where will I be at 11:00? G Well, if I remember correctly man..... umm .... dead I think. BILL I see. (flashback) (G encounters Bill's agenda from earlier today. He falls asleep while reading it due to this short, TV induced attention span. He falls into the board, partially erasing the most important parts of the plan.) BILL Well, if I'm really fucking doomed like that damned script says I fucking shit am, then I'm going to take Nick out with me!! To the factory!! G Why the factory? BILL Shut up and drive. Nick is such a one-dimensional chartacter. He's always there. Scene #15: (The police station. Nick enters the station, he sees Craig at the front desk.) CRAIG Deja vu!! Don't I know you?? NICK No-- oh what the hell! Yes you DO know me. I'm Nick Gustafson and I'm going to kill you. CRAIG Do you remember Sauble Beach? You're such a nerd.
(Nick kills Craig without any further words) (Nick then kills a female officer) (Justin breaks in and enters his defensive Kung Fu stance Nick) NICK I don't believe in that fairy stuff.
(Justin proceeds to beat up Nick for the next minute) (After falling to the ground Nick grasps a stapler which had fallen to the ground and fires it at Justin. While Justin is reeling, Nick finds the metre stick, and impales him as well.) NICK I am Nick. I have killed you. (Kung Fu: The Legend Continues theme plays as Nick exits)

Scene #16: (On the way back to the factory) (Nick spots Matt Scott crossing the street, and decides to hit him as well)
MATT SCOTT AHHHH! (Scene #17: The factory again. Bill has found his cat, and has freed him. Bill sees the counter at 00:05:00, and realizes that the film is nearly over) BILL Hey G-- go put my cat in the van. Don't worry its safe. I have the weapon, and Stubbs is out there. It's safe. G Okay. C'mon cat...
(after a short while, the factory doors burst open, and the climatic Rod Stewart music starts to play) BILL Nick!! NICK Bill!!
(the two combatants begin to grapple with each other. Bill knocks Nick's metre stick away.) (they fight) (Nick eventually gains the upper hand) (The timer reads 00:00:15) (Nick knocks Bill unconscious and just escapes the bomb) (Nick celebrates) NICK I get an A+ for effort, yeah A+, A+, A+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Then Nick gets hit by a G's van and dies, or does he?) THE END (fade to black)

CAST